I enjoy hearing the salvation stories of those who come to Christ. It is nothing less than wonderful to hear how lives are changed through the power of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is truly a wonderful savior who desires to pluck us from the filth of things such as fornication, drunkenness, greed, and the like. I myself was ecstatic after coming to Christ that I had left things such as this behind. The freedom I felt was intoxicating.
The Christian band Relient K captures the heart of this feeling in their song, Who I am Hates Who I’ve been. This is true for all Christians. Yet thankfully when I came to Christ I was challenged by a Christian friend to consider a difficult fact, that I am a sinner still. I was on cloud nine a bit prematurely. Fornication, drunkenness, greed, and the like still tempt me with their fleeting pleasures, even with Christ resident in my heart. Why it is as if coming to Christ has revealed me to be an even greater wretch than I imagined in the first place, though also with greater hope. This is why it is said that Jesus Christ is our peace, for there is no peace to be found within our selves. To be sure in eternal glory our sin will be finally removed, but until then it is not yet time for the dancing on the cloud nine that will dance on then.
Jesus soberly teaches us, “He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life" (John 12:25 WEB). The point of this is that Jesus challenges me, even as a Christian, to hate my life in this world. In fact, if I can find no other reason to even live at all except for the purposes of Jesus Christ, then and only then will my life have meaning. We are the more pitiable if we actually think that we have 'arrived' or found hope in something outside of Christ.
What I am trying to say is that I am encouraged by the lyrics of Relient K's song, but would I offend us if I suggested that there should be a Chapter 2? Does our disgust with our present sin and hope in future glory ever cause us to sing, 'Who I will be hates who I am?'
RELIENT K LYRICS, "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
cause I don't want you to know where I am
cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
(Pre-Chorus)
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
(Chorus)
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
(Pre-Chorus x2)
(Chorus)
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
